Today my husband, Patrick, is sharing what happened to him during the emotional affair, what God did in his life. If you are not sure what we are talking about check out last week’s post to bring yourself up to speed. Enjoy hearing the story from a new POV (point of view).
At the time in our marriage that Melissa was struggling with an emotional affair, there were some underlying issues in our marriage that fueled that affair.
By no means did these issues cause Melissa to have the emotional affair, but Satan used these footholds in our marriage to aid him in the deception he used against us and our marriage.
God had already given us one beautiful child, our daughter. As a little girl Melissa always dreamed the perfect family would be three children.
What we realize now is our dreams are not always God’s plan or what He intends for us.
In my mind and in my way of thinking, the fewer children we had the better off we would be. Fewer children meant less responsibilities and more “me.” My selfish way of thinking often contributed to a lot of hurt, not only between Melissa and I, but also between myself and God.
I knew deep in my heart that God’s plan in my life was for more than one child, but I tucked that deep down and buried it so that it could never come to the surface.
For anyone who has experienced anything that is difficult (I know we all have) we can often hear God the clearest in our darkest moments. As I have said many times before, God works the night shift.
What this means is that God can and sometimes chooses to use our darkest moments for His purposes.
Often our greatest and closest times with God come when we have to surrender everything to him.
Often we don’t always do that until crisis arises in our lives. Wouldn’t it be so much more simple if we would surrender to God daily rather than when we experience crisis?
I have learned that is what God desires from us, daily surrender.
When I found out that Melissa was involved in an emotional affair I definitely experienced a crisis in my life.
I wish I could say that I totally and fully relied upon God as He desires, but I didn’t completely do that.
Even though I did not, God worked in and through me. And it was during this time when I first experienced the audible voice of God.
I can honestly say that I will never forget the experience I had with God one night as we were battling through the emotional affair.
As I was lying in bed one evening completely asleep God awoke me very abruptly. So abruptly that I sat straight up in bed.
God wanted to make sure he had my full attention when He spoke to me, so my tranquil sleep was spiritually interrupted. He also wanted to make sure we were alone, which is why I believe He waited until I was asleep.
There I was, wide awake, feeling as if I had been awake for hours. There were no remnants of sleep upon me.
I didn’t understand it at first, but it didn’t take God long to speak to me once He had my attention.
Very clearly, and very audibly God simply said “What are you doing? Who are you kidding?”
I knew exactly what He was talking about. God wanted to talk with me about His plans for my life and my denial of those plans. He wanted to talk with me about having additional children
Of course I tried to play dumb and pretend I didn’t know what He was talking about, but who was I kidding…He’s God!!!
Knowing I was acting confused God said it again, “What are you doing? Who are you kidding? You are not fooling anyone. You know the plans I have for your life always included two children. But you are refusing that and the blessing I have set aside for you by having two children. Right now you are doing more than that. You are hurting your wife, you are hurting yourself, and you are hurting me. Do not refuse me, I have more in store for you than you could ever imagine. I have more in store for your future child than you could dream of.”
God worked the night shift that night. The saying is true; it always gets darkest just before the dawn. At that particular point in my life I had reached my darkest moment. God brought the dawn.
Until this very moment I have never told anyone this; I spent the rest of that night not sleeping, but dwelling on the knowledge that God placed in my heart that my second child WOULD be a son.
I pondered God’s son, Christ, and how proud God was of Him. I knew I would be just as proud of my son and would get to experience what God did.
I dwelled upon days of holding him, teaching him, playing with him, wrestling him, spending time with him, watching him stumble and fall, picking him back up, and seeing all God planned for his life.
The next morning I couldn’t wait for Melissa to wake up so that I could share with her exactly how God spoke to me and what He said.
I am not sure which excited me more; that time with God and my wife or the birth of both of my children.
What I do know is that God was faithful to what He spoke to me about that evening. He gave us a son very quickly. And in God’s sense of humor He made my son look just like me so that every time I look at my son I am reminded of that evening God spoke directly to my heart.
This week I was reminded of God’s faithfulness as my son laughed while he wrestled with his dad. His sweet smile filled my heart and I felt God say, “Remember, I am faithful.”
It is not lost on me that the day I post about God giving us a son we are celebrating the day God gave us His Son as a perfect sacrifice. The day my Savior went to the cross and paid for my sins, and yours. He is faithful.
I have included a beautiful song by Kari Jobe, click here. Be blessed this Easter and remember love has come to rescue you, you are no longer a prisoner to your sin.
If you feel moved, thank Patrick for being vulnerable and sharing his story with you. This won’t be the last time you hear from him!