As I near the present time in our story you might wonder if I ever deal with any of my old issues.
I am so glad you asked.
I dealt with lust this summer, but in a much different way than the past.
I mentioned on the previous post that God spoke to me about my job. Last year I read Extraordinary by John Bevere. That book changed my life.
In the book John talked about praying in faith.
I never truly prayed in faith before, I never really believe God for something I asked for. I just prayed and hoped God might answer my prayer.
For five years I taught in a school district that pushed against everything I believed in. I never made any friends, I never belonged.
The job was an hour from home, and many days I didn’t get home until 6:30.
After reading Extraordinary I sensed God say, “Pray in faith Melissa. Pray to be released from your job.”
So I did.
I prayed and I knew God would release me.
I am skipping tons of details to shorten this post.
God started lining up my future in February by bringing a homeschooled mom into my life and introducing me to another writer in my community. I started getting paid to write-yahoo!
In March I had to let my district know if I wanted to reduce or increase my hours for the following year. I thought it was my job to convince Patrick that I should request to go down to three days.
God stopped me.
He said, “If you believe I am releasing you why would you need to reduce your hours?”
He was right, I wanted to reduce my hours just in case God didn’t come through.
I didn’t reduce my hours.
After months of disagreements, Patrick and I finally reached a compromise when a music position became available in a district twenty minutes from our home. The position was part-time but we thought if I was offered the position I would give lessons to home schooled children the rest of the time.
I applied and had an interview set for June 18.
A week before my interview my “dream” job became available. This was the job I wanted since I received my teaching certificate. This job would allow me to teach my own children.
I submitted my resume, but of course I still went to the other interview, because you never know.
As I left the interview I didn’t feel positive about it. I didn’t do anything to make myself stand out.
Two hours later I received a call from that principal and she offered me the job.
God answered my prayer, I was released from the job that took me so far from home.
But I wanted more. And I knew God wanted to go above and beyond all I dreamed or imagine. What an awesome testimony I could give if I got my dream job.
I finally got a call for an interview, set for August 2nd.
I showed off all the music I composed for my students that tied in with science and social studies, I showed my pre-tests and post-test and how all my students improved. I made myself stand out.
The interview took place on a Thursday, they said they would let me know by Tuesday.
On Monday, August 6th I woke up lusting.
I wanted that job so bad. The last time I had those feelings they were for a man, but this time I lusted for a job.
I cried out to God. I knew what I felt wasn’t right.
During my prayer time God clearly whispered to me, “Do you want Me or this job? If having more of Me meant you couldn’t have that job would you be okay with that?”
In my journal I wrote, “I want JESUS more than I want that job.”
I didn’t get the job.
I am getting Jesus.
To say I wasn’t heartbroken would be a lie. I was angry at God.
When I went to my new job and talked the principal, guess what she told me? She said, “You clearly stood out above everyone else.”
I didn’t do anything special for that interview, yet I stood out.
There is no other explanation but God. He wants me there and He made me stand out.
I am so glad to be in His hands, in His will.
Patrick didn’t take it so well and is still working through some stuff, but I can’t wait until he finds his Genesis 5020 from all of this, I know he will in time.
I am so happy.
I drive twenty minutes to work.
My building is surrounded my fields and rolling hills.
I get to shine the love of Jesus into 500 kids lives every week.
I sit on the porch and watch my kids get off the bus and thank God every day that I am there.
I just got done giving a guitar lesson to one boy who wants to be a worship leader when he grows up, and God is allowing me to be a part of that child’s life.
I am overcome.
God. Is. Good.
No, things didn’t turn out like I thought they should. But they did turn out exactly like my Savior thought they should.
So, do I still struggle with lust?
The enemy will never stop, he will look for new ways to make me fall. But the difference is now I listen for my Father’s voice and I will obey.
Lust will not have me again.
Jesus always will.
Only I can tell the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. I will call a swift bird of prey from the east — a leader from a distant land to come and do my bidding. I have said what I would do, and I will do it. Isaiah 46:10-11 NLT
Has there been a time in your life when you wanted something but God had other plans? Can you share your story with us?
I will be wrapping up my Genesis 5020 next week. That doesn’t mean I won’t write, I will. But I want your Genesis 5020. So what it is? I have only a couple of people lined up so far. Will you share yours with us? Let God get the glory He deserves. You know if you stay quiet you are stealing God’s glory. Speak up and share. Email us at : 5020genesisstories(at)gmail(dot)com.