By Alaina Hiatt
My husband told him that was not acceptable—we were not going to wait all weekend knowing our daughter had passed and there was nothing we could do about it.
He asked us if we had been told how an induction would work, to which we said no—looking back, no one had ever taken the time to explain anything to us about what could possibly be our outcome, other than Hope’s passing.
He explained to us that first we would undergo a procedure to open my cervix, after which I would go home for 12 hours. At the end of that time, I’d come back to the hospital to be induced, which could take as long as 24-48 hours.
He then told us that he would give us time to talk it over, but that he was on call until 8am Monday morning and if we chose to begin the process over this weekend, he couldn’t guarantee that he’d come in to perform the procedures—we’d be in the hands of the midwives and nurses only.
After my husband and I talked it over, we decided to come back Sunday night for the first procedure and then we’d be back to be induced first thing Monday morning, when my doctor came back on the clock. Though we didn’t want to wait, I didn’t want to work with a doctor who obviously didn’t want to work with me.
Saturday into Sunday, leading up to the procedure, there was no calming me down. I cooked, I cleaned, I worried—what clothes would Hope be dressed in? Nothing I had or could buy could possibly fit her! When would she finally be born? How painful would labor be?
I just couldn’t believe this awful nightmare I was living.
The first procedure was quite painful and I had a hard time sleeping Sunday night.
Monday morning came and I was given my first dose of medication at 9:20am. Labor didn’t begin in earnest until 1pm, after the second dose of medication.
My water broke sometime around 3pm and that was when I lost what little control I had at that point.
The nurse asked everyone to leave the room and my mother stayed with me as I cried.
Why was this happening to me? Why did I have to lose my baby and go through this awful labor and delivery with nothing to show for it?
The doctor came back to check my progress around 3:45pm, and I was dilated to 4. I received an epidural around 4:15pm, and then I was able to rest.
My mother and sisters and my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law came to help keep us company and as we sat visiting.
Hope Elizabeth was born at 6:55pm. At 4.5 ounces and 5.75 inches long, she fit nicely into the palm of my hand!
As I held my daughter for the first time, I couldn’t believe how perfect she was!
All we had heard over the last few weeks was what was wrong with my daughter, but no one had ever taken the time to tell us what was right—how perfect her 10 little fingers would be, or that she would have perfect finger nails, or how precious her ears, nose and lips would be!
Her skin had a purple cast to it, as they believe that she had passed sometime the previous Friday, but to us she was the most beautiful baby girl in the world.
My husband and I spent the first hour with her alone, holding and kissing her, praying over her and trying to make the most of what little time we would have as a complete family.
We then invited our family in to spend some time as well. All were invited to see and hold Hope Elizabeth.
Around 9pm, we let the nurse take her away—she was physically deteriorating fairly quickly and we knew it was time to say goodbye.