Congratulations to Kay M. who won last week’s giveaway, Wildflowers from Winter.
This week we get write to the point with Eileen Rife. She is sharing her Genesis 5020 with us today, I hope you will be blessed by her story. Be sure to read to the end, she has a giveaway for you.
Christmas had come and gone, but the scent of cinnamon potpourri still lingered in the air. Unwrapped boxes lay scattered under a brittle tree. A garland sagged from an archway between the living room and hall as if tired from its holiday efforts. My parents had returned home. My husband had gone back to work. And my little girl was playing at a neighbor’s house. All was calm, really for the first time since November. I struggled to forget, but the memory of our loss was still vivid . . .
Four months into my second pregnancy, I suddenly awoke one beautiful fall November morning with stomach pains. Two days later, I returned home from the hospital with empty arms and aching heart. The little boy I had carried was gone. Home with Jesus. And I was left behind to pick up the pieces and carry on. But I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Numb, I floated through the Christmas season. Sights, smells, and sounds that normally would have energized my spirit, only depressed me. How could life go on as usual when I was in such pain? I packed up and moved inside myself, guarding my heart against well-meaning comments and actions that threatened to get too close. This was my private pain, or so I thought.
Now two months later, I padded about an empty house yanking down tired Christmas decor that reminded me of just how weary I had let myself become. Fed up, I reached for my Bible on the coffee table. Running my hand over the cool leather cover, I hugged the Book to my chest. This precious collection of love letters had been my life, my very survival over the years. Why was I having such a hard time receiving its comfort now?
I sank to my knees in front of our large gold recliner. Sun was streaming in through our double-wide windows. Unusual for a January morn. Overcome with emotion, I cried out to God. I wept loudly, freely, pouring out my heart to Him. “I am so angry, Lord—angry at my husband for not feeling this with me the way I want him to; angry at
myself for not knowing I was in labor and calling the doctor sooner; and yes . . . Lord . . . even angry at You for allowing such a tragedy to happen in the first place. Why Lord? Why?”
All the feelings I had been holding in since the miscarriage came pouring out of me, like water from a faucet. I thought I could come home from the hospital and pick up where I left off, but in doing that, I denied myself the necessity to grieve and thus heal. Only when I got honest with God about my true feelings could the real healing begin. From that moment on, I began to view things differently.
The rays of the sun shone warmly on my shoulder as I hunched over my Bible. Frantically flipping the pages in search of relief, I came to Luke chapter one. Since I had
drifted through Christmas in a fog, I decided to revisit the Christmas story. Scanning the chapter, my eyes fell upon verses 78 and 79 which appeared to leap off the page in
Because of the tender mercy of our God, with which the Sunrise from on high will visit us, to shine upon those who sit in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.
It was as though God had written those words for me that very morning and faxed them on rays of sunlight. In His tender mercy, God had provided all the healing and peace I needed through His precious baby Son, the Sunrise from on high. What Satan intended for my destruction, God used to draw me closer to His heart.
Eileen Rife, author of Second Chance and the Born for India trilogy, conducts marriage seminars with her husband and speaks to women’s groups on a variety of topics. www.eileenrife.com www.eileen-rife.blogspot.com
Thanks for sharing with us Eileen.
Readers, Eileen is giving away a paperback copy of Chosen Ones to one commentator. Leave a comment for Eileen by December 4 at 5:00 pm to be entered to win.