Happy New Year! I can’t wait to see what God will do in 2013, how about you?
Today we continue with Heather’s Genesis 5020. This is where her “lower” story intersects with God’s “upper” story.
I felt so hopeless and helpless while he was slapping me around but when he was gone, hope began to come back.
That feeling only lasted about 24 hours because he came back the next night. I let him in for fear of what he would do if I didn’t. He had some of his friends with him but they soon left, leaving him at my place with no car, no way to leave.
I knew he was there to stay.
It didn’t take but a few minutes for me to make him mad, he asked me a question and I gave him an honest answer that he didn’t like so hit me right on my nose causing it to bleed badly. I tried to get up from the bed to get a wash cloth to catch the blood but he refused to let me out of the bedroom, I was trapped yet again.
He gave me a sock to hold on my nose until the bleeding stopped.
I felt helpless and too weak to fight back.
This time I didn’t demand that he leave, I just accepted my circumstances and allowed him to stay. He apologized, said he wouldn’t do it again, all the things abusive men say after they explode. I didn’t believe him but I accepted his words. He laid down with me and held me in his arms while I just cried.
Things were somewhat okay for the next couple of weeks, no episodes of physical abuse. We had a few arguments but nothing physical. I was miserable and so was my daughter. She asked me why I didn’t just kick John out. I told her it wasn’t that easy but I’d figure something out soon.
I continued to work at the strip club occasionally but made most of my money from my regular customers and also by selling drugs to a few people I knew. I continued to look for a real job, even had a few more interviews but still found nothing. John looked online for a job but that’s as much as he would do. He would occasionally try to find a customer for me but that usually didn’t work out so well.
I had lost track of my period and wasn’t sure when it was supposed to start but I had a feeling it was late. So two days before Thanksgiving 2009, I took a pregnancy test.
It was positive.
I knew it was John’s baby because he was the only one I had not been careful with and he seemed especially careless at times.
I knew I would keep this baby because first, there was no way John would let me terminate my pregnancy and second, I had been wanting to clean up my life and knew that it would take something big, like a baby, for me to make those changes.
The difference in my previous pregnancies and this one was that I was ready to change this time, whereas before I was still enjoying living in my darkness.
The day I found out I was pregnant I stopped using drugs and alcohol. It’s amazing how clear your mind becomes when you stop putting chemicals in your body to alter your perception.
The day after Thanksgiving John started revving up for another abusive episode. He started making threats but didn’t carrying them out yet. I honestly believe that he was coming down from the drugs and was too tired to abuse me.
My daughter heard him threatening me and called me to her room to show me something. She really didn’t have anything to show me but was trying to keep me safe. That night I slept in my daughter’s room and I stayed safe.
The next day the threats continued and I’d had enough. I knew if I planned on keeping my baby safe from miscarriage, I had to get away from John.
I quickly planned my great escape.
I called both of my best friends but neither one answered the phone. (I later found out that was God’s plan) I got a hold of another friend of mine and arranged for him to pick up my daughter and me. (I didn’t have a car anymore.)
John had asked me to get some drugs for him so when my friend called to let me know he was outside waiting for me, John thought it was the drug dealer.
I grabbed my purse and closed the bedroom door so John wouldn’t see that my daughter was going out the front door with me. We quickly got into the car and left my apartment.
My friend asked where he was going to take us. I had no idea. Since my friends hadn’t answered their phones earlier, I could only think of one more person to call, my uncle.
I had an uncle that lived in Vegas but hadn’t talked to him since I stopped talking to my parents. He was my only hope.
He answered the phone and said of course, we could come over and spend the night.
Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for and expect the Lord! Psalm 31:24 AMP
I love reading this part….how God worked it all out, Heather’s escape, her turning from sin and running back to Him.
This is her “whatever it takes”.
God has been pressing in on me and reminding me that He is all I need to put my hope in. What are you hoping for in 2013? What do you anticipate God doing in your life this year?
What’s your Genesis 5020? Share you story at: 5020genesisstories (at) gmail (dot) com