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Back with Heather’s Genesis 5020.
While we were in route to my uncle’s house, John called and asked me where I was. I told him I was gone and I wasn’t coming back.
I told him I couldn’t live with him always threatening me and constantly being afraid of him. He said he was only joking and wouldn’t actually do those things to me. I refused to believe, my head was clear and I knew better this time.
I stuck with my plan to go to my uncle’s house.
My friend dropped us off at my uncle’s house. He was happy to see us in one piece.
John continued to call, I ignored his calls. He finally left a message saying that he left my place but had taken my computer. I didn’t care, I was glad to be free of him. We spent the night at my uncle’s house.
The next morning, my uncle had suggested I call my parents and see if they would help me get back home. I agreed to do that.
It must have been the Holy Spirit leading me because I always said I would never go back home, never.
I called my parents and explained my situation and told them that I was about 4 weeks pregnant. They quickly offered to pay for plane tickets for my daughter and me and even for my 2 cats to come back home.
It was hard to talk to my parents since I hadn’t spoken to them in 2 ½ years but just talking to them brought about some healing.
Later that day I arranged for a police escort to meet me at my apartment so I could gather some of my belongings. I didn’t know if John had really left my apartment and I wanted protection from him just in case.
My uncle took me to my place, John was not there, thankfully. I packed as many of my things and my daughter’s things that would fit into my uncle’s car and left the rest behind.
At my uncle’s house, while packing my things into suitcases so I could take them on the plane with me, I had this overwhelming feeling that I was doing the right thing by leaving this life I had known for 5 ½ years behind me and going back to live with my family.
It was a hard reality to swallow.
I felt like a failure, I couldn’t make it on my own in the big city, I had to go back home to mom and dad and accept their help.
That was what the enemy wanted me to believe. I didn’t see it then but I do now, God was drawing me back to Him, I was that prodigal daughter who had squandered her inheritance.
How could my family and especially God, welcome me back with open arms?
I didn’t understand it but I was grateful.
Before I even got on the plane to go back to Michigan, my mom informed me that my brother’s ex-wife had a job for me at a company I had worked for when my daughter was a baby.
How could that be, I had been looking for a job for months and months in Vegas and found nothing, and now I had a job waiting for me in Michigan.
That was all God right there. Again, I knew I was doing the right thing.
I called my best friends and told them what was going on. They were shocked as I had always said I would NEVER move back to Michigan. We promised to keep in touch.
I boarded the airplane in Vegas a dead woman.
I was tired from the life I had been consumed by. I was so out of touch with my daughter, I had no idea how she felt about any of this. I was completely disconnected on my end from God.
I just knew I had fallen too far from Him to be saved. I was dirty and used up and had nothing to offer.
And there I was, carrying a new life inside of me, I surely did not deserve another chance, not me, a prostitute, drug addict, drug dealer, stripper, whore, horrible mother, a murderer.
How could I be getting another chance?
How could anything good come from me and the things that I had done?
I just didn’t understand it. I completely underestimated God and His power to redeem ANYTHING.
Don’t you just want to go “yahoo!!!!!” I still get overwhelmed with God’s sovereignty when I read this.
He is so amazing. He loves us all so much. He goes wherever we are and reaches in and pulls us out. We just need to lift our arms and faces to Him, He will do the rest.