Today is June 13th, our sixteenth anniversary (Happy anniversary Patrick). I thought it would be interesting to read what I wrote about that day five years ago. I know my sin is cast as far as the east is from the west so I don’t look back on that day and mourn. I look back and rejoice at all my Father has done in my life since then. It is amazing to see how He took my heart of stone out and gave me a heart of flesh. Five years ago I would’ve never dreamed I would be where I am now spiritually. With each passing year I feel more and more alive, so opposite how I felt five years ago today.
Our God is truly good and truly amazing.
Last time I wrote I left off with June 12. I drove away from the other man’s house feeling like a dead woman.
That evening I went to get groceries with my family. I clearly see me with my kids reaching for some cheese and thinking I feel nothing. I feel dead. I felt so empty walking around the grocery store, surrounded by people but having no clue who I was anymore.
The power that revived me the week before was zapped from my being. Where did the power go? When did it leave me?
Later that night I drove to my friend’s house to confess, for the first time, what I had done. On my way there I was listening to Tenth Avenue North (they had become my lifeline) and the song Times began playing. The words asked “what I have become?” The question penetrated into my soul and I cried.
Who was I?
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