As a worship leader I have to fight doubts and negative thoughts almost every Sunday. When I am in the mist of leading worship I feel free and full of the love of Jesus. But once I get home the enemy loves to start whispering things in my ear. Here are a few of the things I hear weekly:
You got way too excited today.
You made a fool of yourself.
You are drawing attention to yourself.
You shouldn’t have said that.
You really aren’t a very good worship leader.
That is only a few, but for the most part they are all the same just worded in different ways.
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to lead worship without playing my keyboard. That hardly ever happens and I get so excited when it does because I love to worship Jesus with all of me. When my hands are tied to keys I can’t fully engage myself as much as I want. I just love worshiping Jesus!!!
Anyway, I worshiped and it felt so good. I can’t hold back when I have freedom to worship.
Now, my church has many different type of worshipers. Some people raise their hands, some people clap, some people just sing and some people don’t sing at all. Overall, we aren’t an overly expressive bunch so I probably do stand out a bit. But one thing I have learned in teaching is that my students will follow my lead. My desire is for people to fully engage in worship and get excited about Jesus. I know if I just stand still that is all I can expect anyone else to do. So I worship as I feel lead so others will feel free to do the same.
Of course, after this particular Sunday the enemy hammered me…hard. It wasn’t until the next morning, during my quiet time with the Lord that He spoke to me about my worship.
He asked me about my kids. He showed me a picture of me coming home after being gone a week and them just sitting, staring at the television. I was so excited to see them and all they could say was, “Hey.”
Then He asked me how I felt when my kids were excited to see me, excited to spend time with me, to the point they jumped up and hugged me, or told me they missed and embraced me as they said this. I told Him I loved that.
He said He was no different. He loved when I was excited to worship Him, He loved that I wanted to give Him every piece of energy I had. He said He felt sad when His children weren’t excited to see Him, to worship Him, to be in His presence.
He understands that not everyone is going to raise their hands, or clap, but He examines the heart and unfortunately He knows that many people aren’t excited to worship Him, to be with Him.
He told me I should never hold back anything from Him, but always give Him my all (this is what the Bible teaches us — give Him our heart, mind and strength). He wants the same from each of His children and that will look different for everyone and that’s okay.
So basically, it’s okay to be excited about Jesus. We should be more excited about Him then anything else in this world and if we get more excited about football, or a t.v. show we need to examine our heart because you can be sure He is:)