I Found A Lump July 13, 2018

Photo by Catherine McMahon on Unsplash

It was about six weeks ago now.

When I first felt it I felt like I was going to vomit, it couldn’t be. I seriously felt sick to my stomach. I had to stop feeling it. And I did for a few weeks. I ignored it hoping it would go away.

When I finally had the courage to see if it was still there about two weeks later, it was.

My husband and I had a vacation planned to Mackinac Island to celebrate our 20th anniversary so I decided to wait until after that to make an appointment. I didn’t want bad news and be consumed with it on our vacation.

Let me tell you the first lie the enemy whispered in my ear:

“You lost all this weight because you have had a cancer the whole time, not because you have changed the way you eat and are exercising.”

I almost laugh now at the craziness of that lie. But at the time it seemed like it could be true.

The day after my vacation I called the doctor and I got an appointment for the next day.

I honestly hadn’t had any freak out moments up to that point. I kept telling myself, “You don’t know what it is. There is no reason to freak out until you have answers.”

The night before my appointment I had a freak out. I laid in bed unable to sleep. I started to recite scripture but still my mind started to play scenes in my head of telling my kids I have cancer, how my life will look different. Would I be able to direct the musical? I started thinking of friends who had breast cancer I could reach out to.

I didn’t tell too many people about this because I didn’t want anyone to worry. I knew my parents would worry and they didn’t need that. I only told a couple of friends who I do my Bible Study with.

I laid in bed and cried that night. I finally grabbed my iPad and researched lumps. I found that only 20% of lumps are actually cancer, and that they are usually not circular. Mine felt pretty circular and now I had an 80% chance of it not being cancer.

I went to my appointment. My doctor said she thought it was a cyst but there was no way to know for sure until we had a mammogram.

We scheduled an appointment for the next week.

Again, I didn’t worry all week long but when I got in the car to go I was nervous and that is why I wrote the blog I wrote two weeks ago and shared those songs about fear. God is so good, giving me those songs as I drove to this appointment.

I will say the ladies that did my mammogram and then ultrasound were very serious, but nice. I was getting worried again as I sat there. This seemed all so real. I could have cancer.

The radiologist came into the room and looked serious too. He said he was pretty sure it was a fibroid something or other (can’t remember the name). But the only way to know for sure was to have a biopsy.

I went into another room and met the consultant, a wonderful woman. She was so kind. We chatted about the Upper Peninsula, which I love, her family lives up there.

But as she was telling me what to expect when had the biopsy she told me the results take about 3-5, so I didn’t have to wait too long. Then she said with confidence, “But you don’t have to worry. You’re not worried, are you?”

I started crying then with the relief that washed over me. I felt her words were prophetic, I didn’t have to worry.

I called Patrick and started crying again, overwhelmed but the kindness I had been shown and knowing that ultimately it came from the Lord.

The next week I had my biopsy. Patrick went with me. We prayed before hand. I felt pretty peaceful.

When the doctor came into the room he looked at my ultrasound and said, “Oh, this isn’t anything to worry about.”

Do you sense a theme?

He was so kind, as were the nurses.

After he was done I had to stay there while a nurse held compression. We started talking and wouldn’t you know God would show off some more? Through our conversation it came out that she was a Christian.

Honestly, after that appointment I was pretty confident that this wasn’t cancer and two days later I got the news that it wasn’t.

Jesus was so present through this whole thing. He just kept showing up through people and music and circumstances. He is so good.

I also needed this wake up call in my spirit as I have been sort of asleep for a long time. I needed to a reminder of God’s goodness, that He is always there, not matter what the results would be.

I share this because I want woman to know that 80% of lumps aren’t cancer (from what I read online, this could be off of course). As I started telling others what I was going through so many other women told me that had lumps too.

Why aren’t we talking about this?

We only hear about the women who find a lump and it’s cancer. Let’s start talking about the lumps we find that aren’t cancer so we don’t freak out. Yes, not everyone will get the news I did but most will.

Also, I found my lump through a self exam, which I don’t do enough, it was completely random that I even did it when I did it six weeks ago. I encourage you to do your self exams.

So ladies (and men, if you are reading, encourage your wife to take care of herself), I’m telling you, I’m sharing my story, most lumps aren’t cancer.

Any other stories out there?

 

 

How Is Your Fear Level? June 29, 2018

Photo by Hanneke Laaning on Unsplash

Yesterday I got in my car to drive somewhere I really didn’t want to go. As soon as I turned up K-Love this song started playing that I had never heard. They never said the name of the song but I was sure I would remember enough to figure it out.

I didn’t. But I really needed to hear it again. It spoke about getting rid of fear and the place I was driving could easily lead me down a path of fear.

The song I didn’t know was quickly followed by “Whom Shall I Fear.” Which I know well. I sang along loud and proud.

But when I got home I wanted to hear the first song. Thank goodness for Google. I remembered partial lyrics and I got it!

It’s called “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli. Love it!

Eventually I will share where I was driving and why these songs where so important. But I don’t have all the answers yet. When I do have a complete story I will share.

In the meantime, how is your fear level? Is there something you are fearing? Do you struggle with fear regularly?

Listen to this song.

Then if you still need some more reminders I will link some other great songs to strengthen you. Remember God has this. We are His.

The Breakup Song

Whom Shall I Fear

No Longer Slaves

Fear Is A Liar If you have never watched this video do it, have a tissue with you. Wow.

Is This Legal?? November 4, 2016

By Stefan Kunze

I apologize in advance, this is a long one 🙂

“Is this legal?”

I was asked that question in my classroom as I introduced my students to a new “winter” song for their concert. It’s a song that uses “Go Tell It On the Mountain” in it.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time a student asked me if it was legal to sing a Christian song. I also had a student say they were worried people might be offended because we are singing a Christian song.

Now, let me tell you that before this concert we did a Halloween concert were we sang a medley of songs from the musical Sweeney Todd. If you’re familiar with this musical you will know how dark and gruesome it is. We sang songs about murder. And NO ONE, not one student, voiced a concern that someone might be offended by that.

Hmmm, interesting don’t you think? I mean if anything would be illegal it should be singing about a murderer not someone who was murdered. But no one questioned it.

You might be wondering why I would even teach that music. Well, the answer is the same for why I can teach Christian music.

I didn’t show my students the movie, I didn’t talk about what Sweeney Todd actually did, I didn’t lecture them on his justification for killing people. I simply taught the music because it is challenging and stretches my students to try new things. It is complex music, it gave the kids a chance to sing in many different arrangements. But I don’t embrace the message of those songs.

The same is true with any song with a faith message. I don’t preach the message, I’m not telling the students that this is what I believe (unless they ask). I’m not showing them a movie about the song and proclaiming the message. I’m not looking up the scripture the song references. I am teaching the music because it is going to be challenging for my students, it has some great rhythmic play and vocal back and forth between parts. It is in a gospel style that we don’t sing too much and it’s acapella.

So, is it legal to sing a song about Jesus in public school? It is legal to sing a song about a murderer in public school?

The answer to both is yes, as long as there is musical reasons for teaching it and I’m not promoting the story behind either.

But why is the Christian song the only one questioned?

Because the enemy is getting a hold of our children and we aren’t teaching them any different. He is lying to them and as parents we need to teach our children the truth. It is okay for a music teacher to teach songs with a Christian message as long as it is balanced with other music that isn’t Christian and the teacher isn’t inserting his or her own beliefs.

Since one out of five songs I am teaching is Christian I don’t think I’m inserting my beliefs.

If we eliminated all faith based songs we would be loosing a rich history of music. Most songs sung by slaves have a faith base. Isn’t that part of our history?

It is becoming so evident that darkness is trying to push out any light at all. We need to be teaching our kids so when they go into school they can stand for what is right and they can be light.

If it ever becomes illegal to teach some great music that also happens to be Christian then I guess that’s when it’s time for me to stop teaching.

 

What’s Your Genesis 5020? March 13, 2015

I haven’t asked in a while so I thought I would put it out there again. I am always looking for people to share their stories on this blog. That’s why I started this blog in the first place. I wanted this to be a place for people to come forward and share their stories about how God used something that could have destroyed their lives for good.

So, what’s your story?

You have no idea how when you share you heal and bring healing into other people’s lives. Someone, somewhere needs to hear YOUR story. Will you give God the glory and come forward and share with others?

Some people won’t believe in Jesus until they see our scars…Thomas didn’t.

Email your stories at: 5020genesisstories (at) gmail (dot) com

What’s Your Genesis 5020? March 7, 2014

I didn’t have anything prepared for today so I think it might time to put out another call for Genesis 5020 stories. People love hearing about how God has worked in your life. What has He done? What is He doing?

What’s your Genesis 5020? I have asked before and I will ask again. If you feel God pressing on you to share your story why not now? It could change someone’s life….it changed yours 🙂

Go to my blog and click on Share your Genesis 5020 and I will be in touch with you.

Thanks for prayerfully considering this, someone needs to hear your story.

Sharing Our Stories November 1, 2013

A sweet friend of mine forwarded me a devotion Lysa TerKeurst wrote recently on Proverbs 31. Guess what it was about?

Genesis 5020 and the power of sharing our stories. Yay!!! I was so excited to see her write on this subject since it’s so near and dear to my heart.

This week I started a new Wounded group for women who have suffered abuse and I was once again reminded how God has used my story to give others hope. That’s what it’s all about. If we keep all God has done in us locked away He gets no glory. I want Him to have ALL the glory, that is why I share my story.

He wrote it, not me. If I wrote my story it would not have a happy ending, I would be divorced and still suffer from my wounds. But because Jesus wrote my story I am healed, set free, my chains are gone and I want the world to know.

How about you?

You can read Lysa’s devotion here.

Then you can email your Genesis 5020 story: 5020genesisstories(at)gmail(dot)com  and let God get the glory. Or, if you don’t want to share your story on the internet, reflect on who in your life needs to hear your story, who needs to know there is hope?

Have a blessed weekend 🙂

Write to the Point with Melissa Finnegan July 3, 2013

Well, if you  haven’t figured out by now that I am a bit crazy this interview ought to do it. Today I am interviewing myself as I have a book out….sort of. I contributed to a book that is out. But you can read all about it below and then grab a free copy of it for yourself. Enjoy!

What is the name of the book you contributed to?

Sweet Freedom with a Slice of Peach Cobbler, it’s compiled by Jennifer Slattery.

What is the book about?

Here’s the back cover blurb:

In these pages you will read stories of people held in bondage by fears, bitterness, and deep emotional wounds, set free by their loving, compassionate, all powerful Savior. The same Savior that longs to free you. For when the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. 

This Fourth of July, may you grab hold of the freedom that penetrates to your very core. A freedom only Christ can give you.

Basically in this book you will find fiction and non-fiction stories of people being healed, set free and coming alive in Christ. This book will bless your socks off 🙂

How did you get to become part of this book?

Short answer: God

Slightly longer answer: I have no idea.

The real answer: I really have no idea, it was God.

Right around Christimas I got an email from Jennifer Slattery asking me if I would be interested in contributing to a book for Christimas 2013 and possibly July 4th this year. I thought, “Hm, why would Jennifer ask me to do this? I only had a small interaction with her when I featured a couple of authors she worked with on my blog. But why would she ask me? There are ‘real’ authors in this email. She must have accidently added my address.”

Seriously, this is what I thought. There was no way she meant to ask me to join this group of “real” authors. But I emailed her back and basically said, “If you really meant to email me then I would love to do this.”

She emailed me back and said that my name was no accident.

I still have no idea what made her think of me, so I have to attribute it all to God.

What did you contribute to the book?

I wrote a short story called “Burned” and a devotion following a true story by another writer. Kelly’s story is truly inspirational as she shares all God has delivered her from, not only spiritually but physically as well. My devotion is called “Delivered.”

Have you written a lot of short stories before?

None, so I wasn’t sure how this would turn out. But I was pretty pleased with the final outcome.

How did you come up with the idea for your story?

I really struggled to come up with a story idea to tie into the fourth of July. But one day I was teaching one of my second grade music classes and we were studying Music for the Royal Fireworks by Handel. You can hear the music here. 

As I thought about the music I started to create a character who played an instrument in the orchestra who was struggling to overcome a hurt in her life and through the music God would set her free.

The story developed from there and I realized Julie, my main character, had been burned in more ways then one in her life and both times occurred on the fourth of July. She has to learn to trust and love again.

It was fun writing about a character who loves music, since I am music person. I was able to combine writing and music. I want to do that more often.

What do you want your readers to take away at the end of the story?

I hope the reader will see that it is only in loving others and allowing others to love us can we fully embrace the love Christ has lavished on us.

How can we get our hands on this book?

Two ways. You can leave a comment and I will send you the PDF or if you own a kindle you can download it from Amazon for free for the next few days after that it will only be $o.99. Click here to download to kindle.

Will it be available in paperback?

Yes, it will, but not yet. I will let you know when that happens.

Anything else you would like to add?

I am very excited to see what God wants to do with this book. I hope you all will get a copy and let us know what you think. I know all the contributors are blessed to be a part of this book.

Sweet Freedom is just another example of God’s Genesis 5020 in my life. I would not have been a part of this amazing group of ladies if not for what the enemy meant to use to harm me.

Again, if you want a copy (and I hope every single one of you do) I can email you a PDF, just leave a comment letting me know you want one, or click here to download on your kindle.

Thanks for indulging me today. I do hope you will be blessed by this book and have a wonderful 4th of July.

What’s up with the Finnegans? June 21, 2013

It’s been a while since I have just written to all you (without it being a book review or introducing someone else) and since I don’t have a current Genesis 5020 story for you (hint, hint) I thought I would give you a brief update on how the Finnegans are doing.

The kids are growing, of course, our oldest will start middle school in the fall…where did the time go? Just the other day she wrote a great song about Jesus. My heart ached, I have never been more proud of that girl. The youngest loves to catch toads and shove them in his pocket, much to his mother’s dismay. God teaches me so much through that child 🙂 They are truly precious.

Patrick and I continue to learn what it means to love each other as Christ loves us. We are challenged to never settle for “good enough” but constantly press forward to all God wants for us, our marriage and our children.

God continues to bring people into our lives who need our story. In a way this unfortunate, people do the same stuff we did, but I am glad we can offer them hope. That they can look at us and know it doesn’t have to be the end.

Some people find that hope sooner than others but regardless, our prayer is always that they could find it. They aren’t alone.

I truly believe we would all be shocked if we had any clue how many people within our church body (not just mine but the church body as a whole) have struggled, or succumbed to the sin of adultery or lust.

Our story is a story that needs to be told because it happening under our noses and if people don’t see there’s hope they may give up and never seek God’s best.

Patrick and I get so sad when we hear of a marriage that is not restored because we know it’s completely possible.

Is it easy? No way. It takes work. Do we still struggle under the effects of my sin? Yes. There are consequences and as much as we would like to forget “the incident” completely we never will. I think if we did we would go back to the way we were. So maybe it’s not a consequences after all, but a blessing, so we can constantly move forward.

It has been just over four years since everything happened with us. This was the first year I dont’ think either of us felt the weight of it. It was good, but we were still both very aware of the dates as they passed.

God is faithful and strengthens us daily. We are not perfect and never will be, but our heart is for each other and for God, for His best. Our heart is for the marriage that looks hopeless and for those broken individuals that come to us.

We are only human but we offer our story and we will continue to offer it as long as God tells us to.

Our story for God’s glory.

Your turn. How have you been? What can I pray for or give praise for  you? I don’t take you for granted 🙂

BTW, what’s your Genesis 5020? Share your story with us (I don’t have any!!!) at: 5020genesisstories(at)gmail(dot)com

Part XXXII-The Beginning October 5, 2012

Before I move into today’s post I want to take a moment and let you know this is the beginning of the story.

You read that right.

This is the beginning.

I can’t wait to see all that my Savior has in store for my marriage and my family. Whatever it is it’s going to be good.

Although I will not write anymore “Part (whatever)” I will still write every Friday. You may not hear from me, you may hear from someone else who would like to share their Genesis 5020 with you.

Will that someone be you?

I hope so.

As I have been saying for weeks, we want you to share your story with the world. What has happened in your life that the enemy wanted to use to harm you but God turned around so He could be glorified?

Please share your story. Don’t hold back. Stop listening to the voice in your head that says your story doesnt’ matter, it’s not powerful enough. Your story does matter and it is powerful enough. If God did it, it’s powerful.

Send us your story at: 5020genesisstories (at)gmail(dot)com

You can remain anonymous. We can even change locations and dates if that will make you feel safer. But share your story.

Now for the beginning……

At the end of two posts I wrote a long time ago I ended with part of the story of Lazarus. You can see those posts here and here. There was a reason for that and today you will understand why.

Please read the account of Lazarus here.

I am Lazarus.

I had an affair. I was ill, near death. God could have saved me at any point during my journey to the pit. But He didn’t.

In those early days I wondered why He didn’t stop me, why didn’t I get caught before I fell completely?

I believe the answer is the same for me as the answer He gave to Mary and Martha when they asked why He didn’t come and rescue Lazarus right away.

He wanted to be glorified. He wanted me to know that He saved me, not myself or my husband, but Him alone. 

I picture the angels running up to Jesus when I planned my first  meeting with the other man. They are panicked, breathless with worry. “Lord, Melissa,  the one you love, is about to do something terrible.” 

 Jesus looks at them,  His eyes are full of sorrow. Of course He knows what I am about to do. “I know. Let her be.”

 The angels walk away but question among themselves, “What, let her be? Why?”

 I fall into a physical affair. But I am not done.

 The angels see I am about to make the same mistake again. They run to their Lord, “Lord, Melissa, your Beloved, she is making plans to be with the man again.”

 Jesus nods, tears glisten in His eyes, “Yes, I know. Let her be.”

 This time the angels ask, “But why? Why don’t we stop her?”

 Jesus places a hand on the shoulder of the inquisitive angel. “She must die. We must let her die completely and utterly to herself. If we rush in and save her she will not learn anything and I will not be glorified. I have tried other ways to get her to surrender to me but she will not listen. This time she will.”

 The angels walk away and they believe without question, this is the way it must happen.

 I am with the man a final time and I die.

Physical death does not find me, although I wish for it to claim my life. My death would be better for everyone. I truly believed this lie.

Jesus did not allow me to die a physical death, but a  death to myself.

 Under the weight of my sin I am finally crushed.

Crushed beyond recognition. The identity I knew so well for thirty years had been annilalated.

Slowly my heart  opens up to Jesus. I  feel Him hold me and breathe life into my heart.

One day, when I am ready to give it all up, He calls, “Melissa, come forth.”

 The real Melissa emerges, the Melissa I was always meant to be.

I am covered from head to toe in grave-clothes.

I have worn them my whole life but I never realized how constricting they were. I thought I was free. But my face is covered, my hands are bound. I am not free.

 “Remove her grave-clothes and let her go,” Jesus’s voice booms with power as He commands the enemy of my soul. The enemy has no choice but to obey.

 My grave-clothes are removed and I freely reach my hands to my Savior.

I see my sin, I see my shame but they have no hold on me. They came off with the grave-clothes.

I am free to be held in the arms of my Savior, the Lover of my Soul.

Child, you are never too far gone for our Savior.

Maybe you wonder why He allowed you to make some terrible mistake, or why did He allow this horrible thing to happen to you?

Perhaps He is allowing you die to yourself. Perhaps He is waiting to call you forth and remove your grave-clothes as well. Perhaps He has been calling you forth for years and you have not listened.

Today you can be free. You can be ALIVE.

Today can be your beginning.

Are you ready? Listen. He is calling you, “Come forth.”

As I climbed in my van this morning to go to work the song “I’m Alive” began to play.

I knew I was to include that song in this post. It perfectly sums up what God has done in my life since I answered His called to “come forth” and live. Truly live.

I am sure I looked like a crazy woman as I danced in my seat and raised my hands to my Savior.

Listen to the song here.

Beloved, I dare you to get up off your seat and dance.

Dance to your Savior.

Dance your grave-clothes right off.

Thank you Jesus. Thank you.

Part XXXI-More of Jesus September 28, 2012

As I near the present time in our story you might wonder if I ever deal with any of my old issues.

I am so glad you asked.

I dealt with lust this summer, but in a much different way than the past.

I mentioned on the previous post that God spoke to me about my job. Last year I read Extraordinary by John Bevere. That book changed my life.

In the book John talked about praying in faith.

I never truly prayed in faith before, I never really believe God for something I asked for. I just prayed and hoped God might answer my prayer.

For five years I taught in a school district that pushed against everything I believed in. I never made any friends, I never belonged.

The job was an hour from home, and many days I didn’t get home until 6:30.

After reading Extraordinary I  sensed God say, “Pray in faith Melissa. Pray to be released from your job.”

So I did.

I prayed and I knew God would release me.

I am skipping tons of details to shorten this post.

God started lining up my future in February by bringing a homeschooled mom into my life and introducing me to another writer in my community. I started getting paid to write-yahoo!

In March I had to let my district know if I wanted to reduce or increase my hours for the following year. I thought it was my job to convince Patrick that I should request to go down to three days.

God stopped me.

He said, “If you believe I am releasing you why would you need to reduce your hours?”

He was right, I wanted to reduce my hours just in case God didn’t come through.

I didn’t reduce my hours.

After months of disagreements, Patrick and I finally reached a compromise when a music position became available in a district twenty minutes from our home. The position was part-time but we thought if I was offered the position I would give lessons to home schooled children the rest of the time.

I applied and had an interview set for June 18.

A week before my interview my “dream” job became available. This was the job I wanted since I received my teaching certificate. This job would allow me to teach my own children.

I submitted my resume, but of course I still went to the other interview, because you never know.

As I left the interview I didn’t feel positive about it. I didn’t do anything to make myself stand out.

Two hours later I received a call from that principal and she offered me the job.

God answered my prayer, I was released from the job that took me so far from home.

But I wanted more. And I knew God wanted to go above and beyond all I dreamed or imagine. What an awesome testimony I could give if I got my dream job.

I finally got a call for an interview, set for August 2nd.

I showed off all the music I composed for my students that tied in with science and social studies, I showed my pre-tests and post-test and how all my students improved. I made myself stand out.

The interview took place on a Thursday, they said they would let me know by Tuesday.

On Monday, August 6th I woke up lusting.

I wanted that job so bad. The last time I had those feelings they were for a man, but this time I lusted for a job.

I cried out to God. I knew what I felt wasn’t right.

During my prayer time God clearly whispered to me, “Do you want Me or this job? If having more of Me meant you couldn’t have that job would you be okay with that?”

I wept.

In my journal I wrote, “I want JESUS more than I want that job.”

I didn’t get the job.

I am getting Jesus.

To say I wasn’t heartbroken would be a lie. I was angry at God.

When I went to my new job and talked the principal, guess what she told me? She said, “You clearly stood out above everyone else.”

Really?

I didn’t do anything special for that interview, yet I stood out.

There is no other explanation but God. He wants me there and He made me stand out.

I am so glad to be in His hands, in His will.

Patrick didn’t take it so well and is still working through some stuff, but I can’t wait until he finds his Genesis 5020 from all of this, I know he will in time.

I am so happy.

I drive twenty minutes to work.

My building is surrounded my fields and rolling hills.

I get to shine the love of Jesus into 500 kids lives every week.

I sit on the porch and watch my kids get off the bus and thank God every day that I am there.

I just got done giving a guitar lesson to one boy who wants to be a worship leader when he grows up, and God is allowing me to be a part of that child’s life.

I am overcome.

God. Is. Good.

No, things didn’t turn out like I thought they should. But they did turn out exactly like my Savior thought they should.

So, do I still struggle with lust?

The enemy will never stop, he will look for new ways to make me fall. But the difference is now I listen for my Father’s voice and I will obey.

Lust will not have me again.

Jesus always will.

Only I can tell the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish. I will call a swift bird of prey from the east — a leader from a distant land to come and do my bidding. I have said what I would do, and I will do it. Isaiah 46:10-11 NLT

Has there been a time in your life when  you wanted something but God had other plans? Can you share your story with us?

I will be wrapping up my Genesis 5020 next week. That doesn’t mean I won’t write, I will. But I want your Genesis 5020. So what it is? I have only a couple of people lined up so far. Will you share yours with us? Let God get the glory He deserves. You know if you stay quiet you are stealing God’s glory. Speak up and share. Email us at : 5020genesisstories(at)gmail(dot)com.