Genesis 5020

My Story for His Glory

Right On Time Christmas Chapters 1 and 2 November 9, 2018

Filed under: Melissa's writing,Uncategorized — Melissa Finnegan @ 8:24 pm
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Photo by Roberto Nickson (@g) on Unsplash

So . . . I wrote this short Christmas story a couple of winters ago. God has been reminding me of His call on my life to write and I have been ignoring that call big time, making excuses and I know it needs to end.

I have dusted it off a bit and thought I would share it with my readers in installments. Today you will get Chapters 1 and 2. There are Eleven chapters so that will take us until December 14th I believe. 

It’s nothing fancy, I could probably do a lot more with it but if I keep telling myself that it will never see the light of day, so I will share this with you and hope you are blessed by Caylee and Stephen’s story. 

The title was inspired by a camping friend of ours. As we sat around the campfire one night sharing some struggles and questioning God’s timing he said, “God is a right on time God.” That stuck with me and inspired the name and theme of this book. 

God is never early or late. He is right on time, no matter what we think 🙂 

Chapter One

A blanket of white covered the windshield of Caylee’s car. Pain radiated in her head.

“Are you okay?” A baritone voice called from somewhere. This had to be a dream. Yes. That’s it, including everything leading up to that moment. A dream and tomorrow she would wake up and her life would be completely normal, whatever that was.

But the pounding in her head made her believe everything might be too real.

“We’ll get you out.” A different, deeper voice, called.

“Please don’t.” Caylee whispered. She didn’t want to face the reality of her life. Everything was so wrong, and the day after Thanksgiving too.  

A man stood outside her window, scarf wrapped around his face, hat pulled low. If she didn’t know better she might believe she was getting car jacked.

The man pulled on her door and it barely budged.

“We’re going to have to dig you out.” The man pulled down the scarf briefly and her heart jumped. It couldn’t be who she thought it was. That would be crazy. Maybe she needed to get her head checked out.

Another man appeared with two shovels. They began digging and all Caylee could do was close her eyes and hope once again that this was all a bad dream.

God, I know I’ve been ignoring you lately but if you could perform a miracle right now and allow me to wake up in my bed in Columbus that would be great.

The door creaked open and cold air rushed in and wrapped around her, like the coldness that wrapped around her heart a few hours ago when Josh dumped her.

“Are you okay?” Caylee looked up and this time the scarf was down. It was him. Stephen Meyer.

Her response caught in her throat so she nodded.

“Caylee Thomas?” Recognition lit up Stephen’s eyes.

“That’s me.” Caylee still hadn’t moved from her seat.

“Is everything okay?” Mr. Meyer came to the door. “Caylee. Oh my goodness. It’s been years. Are you okay?” He reached out his hand to help her out.

“I’m fine, just shaken.” Caylee  placed her hand in Mr. Meyer’s and stood. She allowed her gaze to slide over to Stephen. He probably still hated her. Who could blame him if he did? She quickly looked at the snow covered ground, much safer then looking at Stephen.

“Let’s get your inside.” Mr. Meyer wrapped an around around her shoulders and lead her through the three foot high drift that wrapped around her car. Michigan had way more snow than Ohio. She probably should have looked at the forecast before heading to her parents but her heart wanted to be home and nothing else mattered. That might not have been the best decision.  

All three stomped their feet in the mudroom and removed their outdoor gear without much talk, still frozen from the cold. Caylee had passed through this room as a child more times than she could count. She never expected to be here again.  

Once everything was removed, and the warmth of the house started to thaw out Caylee’s fingers, they moved into the kitchen.

Mrs. Meyer stood in by the table waiting for them, her eyes lit up and she rushed to Caylee, wrapping her in a hug that spread warmth to her toes. “My sweet girl. Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine.” Caylee choked back the tears that wanted to come pouring out. Nothing could be further from the truth. A replay of the day flashed in her mind. Josh, who she thought was finally going to ask her to marry him, dumped her the day after Thanksgiving, she got into a car accident and now she stood in the house of the boy she totally ignored for years, or maybe didn’t ignore enough, and whose heart she crushed over and over. Fine was not the correct word to describe her current situation.

“Let me get you some hot chocolate.” Mrs. Meyer finally released her and pulled her toward the dining room table.

“That really isn’t necessary. If I can dig my car out I can get home.” Caylee tried to stop walking, from being pulled further into the Meyer family, it was way too easy to sucked in.

“The storm isn’t letting up tonight. No sooner would we get a few inches dug and it would fill right back in.” Mr. Meyer sat the table.

“Well, what am I going to do?” Caylee sunk into a chair, exhausted and confused. Her muscles ached from being so tense in the cold.

“You can stay here tonight.” Mrs. Meyer rubbed her back.

“What?” Caylee and Stephan spoke in unison.

“She can’t go home in this.” Mrs. Meyer walked away as if the deal was done.

“I can’t stay here.” The words were out before she could stop them.

“Sure you can. It’s not safe for anyone to be driving in this whether. Your Mom and Dad wouldn’t want you out in this.” Mr. Meyer sipped the coffee his wife placed in front of him.

“What were you thinking driving in this?” Mrs. Meyer slide Caylee a cup and sat down next to her.

“It wasn’t snowing in Columbus when I left.” She couldn’t tell them she her only thought was to escape the heartache that followed her to Columbus and didn’t seem to let up no matter how hard she tried. And that was the problem. She tried to do everything in her own strength and that never worked.

“Maybe you should have checked the weather.” Stephen mumbled. Yeah, he was as happy as she was to have her there.

“Stephen.” Mrs. Meyer swatted his hand.

“No, he’s right. I wasn’t thinking.” Caylee glanced up at him. They made brief eye-contact and her stomach tightened. His eyes looked bluer and he had finally filled out. The poor guy had been so scrawning in high school she weighed more than he did. But now muscles stretched the fabric of his shirt, muscle she had to tear her eyes away from before someone noticed her stare.

“I thought your parents were out of town?” Mrs. Meyer drew her eyebrows together.

“Yes, they’re in Florida until the twenty-third.” Please, don’t ask any more questions.

“Then why bother coming home now?” Stephan asked the question and seemed to know the answer judging by the hard look he gave her. She was running away from something.

“I needed a break.” Caylee clenched her jaw. True, partially.

“Well, drink up your hot chocolate and then you can get to bed. We have the guest room all set up because you just never know.” Mrs. Meyer smiled over the rim of her cup. Her eyes twinkled and she winked.

Caylee brought her drink to her lips and sipped. The warmth of the chocolaty drink spread through her and made her feel too at home in this house she once knew so well. She would spend the night and then tomorrow the roads would be cleared and she could go home and forget this ever happened.

Chapter Two

Stephen slipped on a pair of athletic pants and a hoodie. The smell of coffee drew him downstairs into the kitchen. The room was empty. Hm, must have been Dad got up early and made coffee.

He walked to the window and looked toward the barn. Sure enough, Dad was out there doing something. He was always tinkering around in the barn, he had to stay busy. Mom on the other hand had no problem being still, especially when it came to being with Jesus. But right now she was probably still asleep. Since retirement she seemed to sleep in more. She deserved it.

The coffee beckoned him and he pulled a mug from the cabinet, poured that rich, inkiness into the dup..

He took a big gulp. Yes, this was coffee. All his years in college he never managed to make coffee as good as Mom or Dad. And now he was home, for good. Crazy. He never thought he would move back to Holly, but here he was with a great job waiting for him as a software programer.

He sat down at the kitchen table and took another drink. The floor creaked above him. Had to be Mom or Caylee.

Caylee. Just the thought of her tightened his stomach and he grasped his mug tighter.The one woman he hoped to avoid when he moved home and now she was in his house. The one girl that grabbed ahold of his heart at a young age and never let go. God sure had a sense of humor. He gave that girl so many chances, put his heart out for her again and again and she used him and stomped on it every stinkin’ time. Well, never again. He would never trust her. God had to understand that. He couldn’t expect him to welcome Caylee with open arms this time. Besides, Stephen had moved on. Was dating Sarah, who was great. Everything he ever wanted. Certain he would marry her.

Until last night.

The way his heart hammered in his chest at the sight of Caylee and the fear that she might have been hurt made him realize he might not be as over her as he had thought. But his reaction had to be from surprise. At least that was what he told himself.

“Do I smell coffee?” Caylee appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, dressed in the same clothes she wore last night, skinny jeans and burgundy sweater that made her gorgeous blonde hair shine like the sun. Still beautiful. More so now than in high school.

“Yeah, help yourself.” Again, with the beating of his heart. Surprised, that was all.

“Thanks.” Caylee found the mugs and the creamer. She had spent a lot of time there when they were kids and nothing had changed. She sank into the other kitchen chair, took a sip and sighed. “I needed this.”

“Me too.” Silence followed. He had no idea what to talk to her about and he didn’t want to keep looking at her gray-blue eyes. That only reminded him of all the times he held her in his arms at dances and wanted to get lost in her gaze. But she always kept him at arm’s length. With the amount of dates they’d been on they never even kissed. Which was good. Definitely good.

“Where is everyone?” She glanced around the silent kitchen.

“Dad is outside and Mom must be sleeping.”

“Where is Josie, I know your mom said something about her being gone?” Caylee lifted her mug and took another sip.

“She went to a friends last night before the weather got bad.” He was grateful. His younger sister was full of drama. She was the princess and being fifteen didn’t help any of that. There was a big age difference with Stephen being twenty-four and Josie seemed to get whatever she wanted..

“I bet she’s grown up. I haven’t seen her in six years at least.” Caylee sipped her steaming coffee.

“Yeah, she’s grown up all right. Along with her mouth.” Stephen chuckled.

“She always was a bit of a handful.”

“Still is.”

When was the last time they had a conversation? After prom, senior year. If you could consider that a conversation. It didn’t end well and now everything felt forced, fake. Once they were so natural around each other, they knew each other so well. Now they were like strangers sitting across from each other.

The back door flew open along with a gust of wind.

“It’s freezing out there.”  Dad called and shook the snow off his boots.

“Have they plowed the road yet?” Stephen could only hope. The sooner Caylee left the better.

“Not yet and they are calling for more snow today.” Dad hung up his coat. “You might be stuck here for a while.”

Caylee’s eyes widened. “I’m sure I can get out.”

“I’m sure you can’t. Not in that Verano you’re driving.” Dad grabbed a mug and poured himself a cup of coffee.

No, she needed to leave today, this was too awkward. Why would God place the one person he never wanted to see again, in his house?

“I can call a tow truck.” Caylee sounded as desperate to leave as Stephen felt.

“You will do no such thing.” Mom entered the kitchen wrapped in a pink robe. “You’re parents aren’t even home. You might as well stay with us for as long as you need to. You can wear Josie’s clothes, you’re about the same size. Beside, Josie just texted me and said she won’t be able to come today, they are snowed in and I need help making cookies. These two aren’t much help in that area.”

“I don’t want to impose on your family traditions.” Caylee’s forehead crinkled.

“I’ve known you since you were a baby. You are family. You’ve just been away for awhile. Family does that sometimes.” Mom placed a hand on Caylee’s head. She was always full of hope. Even when Stephen told her all that Caylee had done she still had hope that Caylee needed time to grow up and she would come around. But Stephen had no plans in waiting for that to happen. He had moved on. In fact Sarah would be coming to Holly for Christmas. That would help put his heart on track, headed toward Sarah, not Caylee, which is what was happening with each passing moment he sat and talked to her.

Caylee looked at him like she was asking for permission. Did she really need his approval? She would hopefully be gone by tomorrow. What was another day?

“Yeah, stay and help Mom. I don’t want to make any cookies and if you leave she’ll force me to.”

“It’s all settled then.” Mom beamed.

Yeah, it was all settled. Then why did his stomach feel completely unsettled?

 

——–

This couldn’t be happening. Caylee shoved her hands into the sugar cookie dough. She should not be here. She should have stayed in Ohio and talked to Josh and figured things out. She would call him later. By now he probably saw the big mistake he made in breaking things off with her.

“What did that dough ever do to you?” Mrs. Meyer chuckled. Caylee looked down at her hands that were now pounding the dough.

“Sorry.” Caylee mumbled and unclenched her hands. “I think it’s good.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Stephen’s voice came from behind her. Before Caylee could turn around he reached around her and plucked a piece of dough from the bowl. In the process his arm brushed her’s and warmth spread all the way up her arm and into her cheeks. He smelled good too. He had no business touching her and smelling good and growing up and filling out and being handsome. He was always cute but now, well, he was downright hot. “Yep, it’s good.”

“Thanks.” Her voice caught and she cleared her throat. She could have sworn she heard him stifle a laugh and walk away. He couldn’t know the effect he had on her. Then he would have the upper hand and she had always had the upper hand with Stephen. Look where that had gotten her.  

“That boy. Always sneaking my dough. Some things never change.” Mrs. Meyer laughed and gave Caylee a sideways look.

“And sometimes everything changes.” Caylee bit her lip. She shouldn’t have said that.

“Change can be good.” Mrs. Meyer grabbed a bunch of the dough and started rolling it out. “Tell me why you came home when you knew your parents weren’t even going to be here?”

The lady didn’t beat around the bush.

“I needed to get away from Columbus.” Caylee plunged her hands back into the bowl of dough even though it was thoroughly mixed.

“Hm, okay. But why did you have to get away? Don’t you have a job you need to get to on Monday?”

Ha. Another sore spot. Her degree in theatre hadn’t really helped her get a job or keep one. She considered applying to the community theatre in Holly, but what were the chances they would have an opening?

“No, I don’t have a job. I worked on and off at a small theatre in Columbus but nothing steady.” She removed her hands and washed them off.

“Oh, yes. I forget you went into to theatre. So you have nothing holding you in Columbus then?” Was it Caylee’s imagination or was Mrs. Meyer prying?

“Well, I was dating someone.” The words slid out slowly.

“You were?”

“We broke up yesterday.”

“The day after Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think he meant it. I’m thinking maybe I overreacted. I should probably call him soon.” Caylee forced a smile. Who was she kidding, he clearly told her she bored him. He wanted more of a physical relationship and although her spiritual life wasn’t what it used to be she wasn’t willing to compromise all she knew was right. And that is why no relationship lasted. No guy she met was willing to wait until marriage. So many times she thought maybe she should give in. If she did maybe they would get married and then she wouldn’t be sinning anymore. But she never could talk herself into it.

“Wouldn’t he call you if he didn’t mean it?” Mrs. Meyers pressed cookie cutters into the dough, never looking up.

Wow, this woman didn’t let up.

“I guess he would.” With those words the truth wrapped around her heart like a snake choking out every ounce of hope she had tried to hold on to. She had lost another man because she wasn’t willing to compromise. God, if you want me to follow your will why don’t you bring me a man who wants that too?

I have.

Caylee glanced around the room, sure someone else had to have said that. But no one was in the kitchen but Mrs. Meyer and unless she could miraculously change her voice to a bass it couldn’t have been her.

“Everything okay?” Mrs. Meyer smiled up at her.

“Sure. I just picked a really bad time to try to start over.” Caylee dusted off her hands.

Mrs. Meyer looked her directly in the eye. “Funny, I was thinking you got here right on time.”

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Desperate to Know His Commands August 31, 2018

Filed under: Melissa's devotions/articles,Uncategorized — Melissa Finnegan @ 5:33 pm
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Photo by Verne Ho on Unsplash

I don’t think I posted last week but I will just do the four verses I read this week from Psalm 119:

25 I lie in the dust;
    revive me by your word.
26 I told you my plans, and you answered.
    Now teach me your decrees.
27 Help me understand the meaning of your commandments,
    and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.
28 I weep with sorrow;
    encourage me by your word.

A reoccurring theme in these verses is David’s desperate desire to know and understand God’s word, his commands, his decrees.

How did David get to the point of wanting to know them so badly? Sometimes I think it might be better if I don’t know, that way I don’t know if I screwed up. Just being real here.

But I know that is not what God desires. He wants an intimate relationship with us and the only for that to happen is to fully understand Him.

So I make these verses my prayer and know that God is faithful to answer.

 

A Desire For God’s Instructions August 18, 2018

Filed under: Melissa's devotions/articles,Uncategorized — Melissa Finnegan @ 4:59 pm
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rhand-mccoy-754715-unsplashI read my four verses last week, just forgot to post them. So we will cover eight verses today. Here they are:

Psalm 119:13-20

13 I have recited aloud
    all the regulations you have given us.
14 I have rejoiced in your laws
    as much as in riches.
15 I will study your commandments
    and reflect on your ways.
16 I will delight in your decrees
    and not forget your word.

17 Be good to your servant,
    that I may live and obey your word.
18 Open my eyes to see
    the wonderful truths in your instructions.
19 I am only a foreigner in the land.
    Don’t hide your commands from me!
20 I am always overwhelmed
    with a desire for your regulations.

Right from the start of verse 13 it is telling us something important. It is vital to speak scripture out loud. To make decrees and declaration over your life. Speaking the words out loud might feel odd at first but I believe there is power in that act and verse 13 makes that clear.

As I read these scriptures and write them down I speak them as well and I make them my prayer. This has been powerful.

The writer has such a hunger for God’s instructions, he wants to know God’s heart. He rejoices in God’s law as much as in riches.

One thing God has been showing me lately is to not read the Word to see how I fail (I think we Christians do that too often) but to see how I can grow. God doesn’t want me beating myself up as I read these Words, he wants me to see that I can have this same desire. To be overwhelmed with wanting to know His heart more. So we pray into that.

Father, I want to be overwhelmed with a desire for your instructions. Don’t hide your commands from me but open my eyes that I may see all You want to reveal to me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 

 

Prone to Wander August 4, 2018

Filed under: Melissa's devotions/articles,Uncategorized — Melissa Finnegan @ 12:39 pm
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Photo by Marcus Byrne on Unsplash

We are continuing on our journey of Psalm 119.  Below is what I read this week.

Psalm 119:9-12 New Living Translation (NLT)

How can a young person stay pure?
    By obeying your word.
10 I have tried hard to find you—
    don’t let me wander from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart,
    that I might not sin against you.
12 I praise you, O Lord;
    teach me your decrees.

I could focus on each verse but I won’t. Instead verse 10 kept getting me.

How many times have I cried out to God and said, “Hey, I’m trying to find you and I am not seeing you and I feel like I am going to wander off the the path you have for me.”

Have you had that desperate moment? And honestly, sometimes they are truly desperate and I am screaming at Him. It’s a good thing He’s a big God.

I  have the words from Come Thou Fount in my head as I read that verse:

Prone to wander, Lord I feel, prone to leave the God I love.

What heart-felt words, and so true. Without God continually guiding us we are prone to wander from the path he has for us, prone to turn our backs on all we know is true.

How do we stay on the path?

These verses make it clear.

Hide His Word in our heart. Jesus is the Word, so we can look at this a couple of ways. Have Jesus in our hearts and have scripture in our hearts, at the ready.

My go to scripture when I feel like I could wander is: Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51)

Do you have a scripture hidden in your heart you go to when you feel you could be pulled into old habits or away from something you know God has called you to? I would love to hear your verses. Feel free to share!

 

Please Don’t Give Up July 27, 2018

Filed under: Melissa's devotions/articles,Uncategorized — Melissa Finnegan @ 2:56 pm
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Last week I started sharing Psalm 119 with you. We talked about being joyful and what that looks like. Click here if you want to revisit that post.

This week we are looking at Psalm 119:5-8

Psalm 119:5-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

Oh, that my actions would consistently
    reflect your decrees!
Then I will not be ashamed
    when I compare my life with your commands.
As I learn your righteous regulations,
    I will thank you by living as I should!
I will obey your decrees.
    Please don’t give up on me!

For me the very first verse grabs me, “Oh, that my actions would CONSISTENTLY reflect your decrees!”

Consistently is a tough one. I like how the first verse is confessing to God that we want our actions to reflect his decrees.

When I think of decrees I think of rules. But I looked up the definition and there is a theological definition and it says:

One of the eternal purposes of God, by which events are foreordained. (Dictionary.com)

May my actions consistently reflect the eternal purposes of God.

Puts a different spin on it doesn’t it? I stirs something within my heart when I restate the verse like that.

And then these verses end with “I will obey your decrees (the eternal purposes of God). Please don’t give up on me!”

I love this heart cry at the end, “Please don’t give up on me!”

The psalmist knew he would screw up, stumble and fall but his heart’s desire is to obey the eternal purposes of God and he cries out “Don’t give up on me when I mess up.”

Also, notice verse six says we are to compare our lives with God’s commands. How many of us try to compare ourselves to other people? Yeah, we can look a lot better or worse compared to other people but we are to compare ourselves to God’s Word. Not to make us feel bad but to give us hope. God’s Word is life, a promise. If the Word says we can live according to God’s eternal purposes we can. Every day we move and grow in that direction.

My prayer every morning this week has been: Let my actions rconsistently reflect your decrees. Honestly, I have sucked at it but I am asking God: Please don’t give up on me.

Even when you stumble and fail remember God will not give up on you so don’t give up on Him and His Word.

 

Joyful are . . . July 20, 2018

Filed under: Melissa's devotions/articles,Uncategorized — Melissa Finnegan @ 3:30 pm
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I read something this week (I can’t remember what) that made me take a look at Psalm 119 and felt compelled to really study it. Each day I am looking at a new verse, writing it down and reflecting.

The beginning of this chapter talks about those who are joyful. Read below.

Psalm 119 NLV

Joyful are people of integrity,
    who follow the instructions of the Lord.
Joyful are those who obey his laws
    and search for him with all their hearts.
They do not compromise with evil,
    and they walk only in his paths.
You have charged us
    to keep your commandments carefully.

So basically Joyful people are people with integrity, follow God instructions, obey his law, search for him with all your heart, don’t compromise with evil and walk in his paths.

Joy all boils down to following God. Hearing what he says and doing it.

Here is the crazy thing. Since I have been studying these verse I have been dealing with a lot of anger. I am getting angry and irritated very easily, mostly with my children. I’m not sure where this anger is coming from, it’s so no like me but I feel it rise up and I don’t know what to do with it. I have to leave the room before I say things I will later regret.

This tells me I am on to something the enemy doesn’t want me to figure out.

The enemy doesn’t want us to figure out the key to joy, but it’s right here in Psalm 119.

Yes, this all seems like a tall order, to follow what these verses say, but let’s not write it off because it seems hard. Let’s make it our goal, what we strive for, or even fight for when need be.

Let’s be people of integrity, who do the right thing even when no one else will see or hear us, let’s follow God’s instructions and seek him with all our hearts. Let’s not compromise with evil, even in our thoughts, which honestly is the most dangerous place to do so.

I hope you’ll embark with me on this journey into Psalm 119 and discover what God has for us.

 

I Found A Lump July 13, 2018

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Photo by Catherine McMahon on Unsplash

It was about six weeks ago now.

When I first felt it I felt like I was going to vomit, it couldn’t be. I seriously felt sick to my stomach. I had to stop feeling it. And I did for a few weeks. I ignored it hoping it would go away.

When I finally had the courage to see if it was still there about two weeks later, it was.

My husband and I had a vacation planned to Mackinac Island to celebrate our 20th anniversary so I decided to wait until after that to make an appointment. I didn’t want bad news and be consumed with it on our vacation.

Let me tell you the first lie the enemy whispered in my ear:

“You lost all this weight because you have had a cancer the whole time, not because you have changed the way you eat and are exercising.”

I almost laugh now at the craziness of that lie. But at the time it seemed like it could be true.

The day after my vacation I called the doctor and I got an appointment for the next day.

I honestly hadn’t had any freak out moments up to that point. I kept telling myself, “You don’t know what it is. There is no reason to freak out until you have answers.”

The night before my appointment I had a freak out. I laid in bed unable to sleep. I started to recite scripture but still my mind started to play scenes in my head of telling my kids I have cancer, how my life will look different. Would I be able to direct the musical? I started thinking of friends who had breast cancer I could reach out to.

I didn’t tell too many people about this because I didn’t want anyone to worry. I knew my parents would worry and they didn’t need that. I only told a couple of friends who I do my Bible Study with.

I laid in bed and cried that night. I finally grabbed my iPad and researched lumps. I found that only 20% of lumps are actually cancer, and that they are usually not circular. Mine felt pretty circular and now I had an 80% chance of it not being cancer.

I went to my appointment. My doctor said she thought it was a cyst but there was no way to know for sure until we had a mammogram.

We scheduled an appointment for the next week.

Again, I didn’t worry all week long but when I got in the car to go I was nervous and that is why I wrote the blog I wrote two weeks ago and shared those songs about fear. God is so good, giving me those songs as I drove to this appointment.

I will say the ladies that did my mammogram and then ultrasound were very serious, but nice. I was getting worried again as I sat there. This seemed all so real. I could have cancer.

The radiologist came into the room and looked serious too. He said he was pretty sure it was a fibroid something or other (can’t remember the name). But the only way to know for sure was to have a biopsy.

I went into another room and met the consultant, a wonderful woman. She was so kind. We chatted about the Upper Peninsula, which I love, her family lives up there.

But as she was telling me what to expect when had the biopsy she told me the results take about 3-5, so I didn’t have to wait too long. Then she said with confidence, “But you don’t have to worry. You’re not worried, are you?”

I started crying then with the relief that washed over me. I felt her words were prophetic, I didn’t have to worry.

I called Patrick and started crying again, overwhelmed but the kindness I had been shown and knowing that ultimately it came from the Lord.

The next week I had my biopsy. Patrick went with me. We prayed before hand. I felt pretty peaceful.

When the doctor came into the room he looked at my ultrasound and said, “Oh, this isn’t anything to worry about.”

Do you sense a theme?

He was so kind, as were the nurses.

After he was done I had to stay there while a nurse held compression. We started talking and wouldn’t you know God would show off some more? Through our conversation it came out that she was a Christian.

Honestly, after that appointment I was pretty confident that this wasn’t cancer and two days later I got the news that it wasn’t.

Jesus was so present through this whole thing. He just kept showing up through people and music and circumstances. He is so good.

I also needed this wake up call in my spirit as I have been sort of asleep for a long time. I needed to a reminder of God’s goodness, that He is always there, not matter what the results would be.

I share this because I want woman to know that 80% of lumps aren’t cancer (from what I read online, this could be off of course). As I started telling others what I was going through so many other women told me that had lumps too.

Why aren’t we talking about this?

We only hear about the women who find a lump and it’s cancer. Let’s start talking about the lumps we find that aren’t cancer so we don’t freak out. Yes, not everyone will get the news I did but most will.

Also, I found my lump through a self exam, which I don’t do enough, it was completely random that I even did it when I did it six weeks ago. I encourage you to do your self exams.

So ladies (and men, if you are reading, encourage your wife to take care of herself), I’m telling you, I’m sharing my story, most lumps aren’t cancer.

Any other stories out there?