Genesis 5020

Stories for His Glory

Part III-I Remember March 2, 2012

Filed under: Melissa's Genesis 5020 — Melissa Finnegan @ 12:47 pm
Tags: , , ,
English: W.I.P.

Image via Wikipedia

I have an exciting announcement to make.

 Starting next week I will be posting on Wednesdays as well as Fridays. I am calling it Write to the Point Wednesdays.

Last week I finished the frist draft of my work in progress (WIP). I will start sharing some of the writing journey and my WIP.

Even more exciting, I will start interviewing authors on Wednesdays. I already have one lined up for April. Authors are really just normal people like you and me. Well,I guess to call writers normal is probably not entirely true, since we are known to hear voices in our heads.

Also, on Write to the Point I will share about books I have read that I think you might enjoy.

Write to the Point is where I will start giving away books, but you can only win if you make a comment on those posts. I can’t wait to see what God has planned for Write to the Point.

Part III:

April 4, 1990 I wrote in my journal: “I’ve done things with (name removed to protect identity) when I was only four. He used to touch me. I felt so dirty, but I liked it, except one time I didn’t want any.”

I apologize if the statement above upsets you, it upsets me. Pity fills me for the young girl who wrote that. Pity because she was so deceived by the enemy’s lies. Pity because that young girl wanted love so desperately but had no idea how to find it.

At that point in my life I felt I was nothing if I didn’t have a boyfriend. I know most fourteen-year-old girls feel this way. But I was obsessed with having someone, anyone, like me. My journal entries are filled with suicide threats and an overall sense of hopelessness.

People who have been abused carry the weight of shame because of statements like the one above. Our minds are twisted because we think we liked it, we didn’t stop it. The blame rests on our shoulders.

April 4, 1990 was the first time I ever wrote what happened to me. But I recalled the events a few years before 1990.

In middle school things started to come together in my mind.  I don’t know what caused me to remember. Between the time of the abuse and the time I realized what happened to me, I never gave it much thought. I do remember odd things during that time; like standing in a room and feeling naked or dirty. I never understood why. Looking back I see shame and guilt covered me.

Shame and guilt are heavy. Darkness is their companion. I wanted light but I had no idea how to find it.

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9 ESV

I love verses about light. Find a verse about light that speaks to you and share it with us.