First, I just need to say thank you to our church family. God’s amazing love poured out on us last Sunday. We love you all so much and thank God for you.
As I stated in my last post I will be sharing our Genesis 5020 in installments. There is much to share and I want to be respectful of your time.
Somewhere around the age of 4-6 years old, a boy, who I should have been able to trust, asked me if I wanted to “play a game.” Of course I said yes, every kid wants to play a game.
The game was sexual abuse. I did not know the name of this game for many years. I learned how to play and I even tried to take control of the game; I would seek out the attention of the boy and ask him if he wanted to play the game.
He would always say yes.
My little girl mind and heart, thought this was love. I wanted this boy to love me and I believed he did when we played the game. I even remember hoping other boys would want to play. I became very disappointed when no one else gave me the same attention. I thought I must not be loveable, or pretty
At some point the boy stopped asking for the game and I didn’t ask either. But it was too late. Lust had been awakened in me and I didn’t know how to put it back to sleep. Instead, I would try to play the game in different ways for the next twenty-eight years of my life. I would search for power, acceptance and love any way I could get it.
The boy stopped playing but I would never stop trying to win.
Sexual abuse is one of those things we don’t talk about. But we need to. It is happening all around us. We need to open our eyes to the reality of this truth. We would all be shocked if we knew how many girls and boys have been abused in some way. Sexual abuse doesn’t have to be physical. Being exposed to things a child should not be exposed to — ex. pornography — is a form of abuse as well. I know ten people who have experienced some type of abuse. This number includes the boy (who is now a man) who abused me.
Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Song of Songs 8:4 NIV
Let’s open the door and be real. Won’t that tick the devil off? How many women, or men, do you know who have been sexually abused? You can’t count me. Count yourself if you have been abused, but you don’t need to share that it is you if you don’t wish to. Just give us a number. Let’s bring what has been hidden in darkness into the light.